Editing in academia is a challenge. On the one hand, there is the need for jargon specific to the discipline. On the other, there is a need to make the writing easy to understand and to read. For example, many academics like to use long introductory phrases to explain why they are going to take the action at the end of the sentence. For the reader, this technique is laborious and can lead to rereading the sentence. There is also a tendency to add layers of redundancy; for example, "The firm value is related to firm profits that are the result of firm performance." This is a tough sentence to read. The English language allows this sentence to be simplified: "The firm's value is related to its profits that result from its performance." Now, the sentence is concise and has the same meaning.
Here is a short video on this topic: https://youtu.be/JT0U94349Hc